As if last year wasn’t bad enough, I find out there’s a ‘soft reboot’ /sequel to the amazing film The Craft! I don’t remember asking for one, nor did anyone else for that matter.
Let’s talk the very few similarities: new girl moves to town, new girl has fear of snakes, new girl is naturally gifted. That checks all the boxes so far. Love spell on the asshole bully. Check. Asshole bully becomes woke…
Wait, what?
Back to that later. There are other subtle nods to the original film, if you squint; and while the young coven claim to be witches, what they do is child’s play compared to the ’96 version.
The ’96 version was an edgy work of art that pointed my teenage self (way back when) into the arms of Paganism and Wicca; like many before me, I was in awe of what the girls accomplished in the film and yet not all that disappointed to learn it was, in places, exaggerated. The characters in the ’96 Craft were deep and relatable – particularly if you were a social outcast in high school – and the film’s character development was well paced, with each coven member having a reason for their spells, and a satisfying ending; it also teaches you lessons about the real craft of being a witch, that your actions have consequences.
What do we know about the ’96 coven? Sarah’s mother died in childbirth and she was also a witch, Nancy wants out of her trailer-trash life, Bonnie’s body is badly scarred from a childhood accident, and Rochelle is racially abused by a member of the diving team.
What do we learn about the 2020 coven? Lilly is a natural witch, Lourdes is trans (I think? It was mentioned so briefly in passing), Tabby wants more ‘black friends’ and Frankie…um…Frankie wants Lilly’s stepbrother’s dick?
So not a lot, at least nothing in depth and hardly relatable; they had a foundation to build on with Lourdes’ trans character, but quickly brush it under the carpet, instead they only focus on Lilly and the other coven members get pushed to the background.
The 2020 version is so incredibly woke it’s boring – except the main wokeness is only about the misogyny the men around the coven have; from Timmy’s sexist behaviour to Lilly’s stepdad’s masculinity seminars and groups, the anti-misogyny slaps you so hard in the face your head spins and it overshadows a film that is supposed to be about witchcraft and sisterhood.
The only real spell the girls do is the one that makes Timmy become more sensitive to women’s issues and gay rights – and later a binding spell against Lilly; there’s no shapeshifting or glamour spells, or any real witchcraft rituals.
The ending is anti-climatic, the big, bad boss fight is a fizzle and then the plot twist…
Lilly is Nancy’s daughter!
If you don’t remember how the ’96 film ended, Nancy was locked up in the funny-farm and, according to this film, never left; how is Lilly hers? You’d have to speculate two options:
- Nancy did get out at one point and ended up back in there sometime after Lilly was born.
- Nancy never left, too traumatised by her battle with Sarah, and possibly taken advantage of by a male orderly in the hospital leading to Lilly’s adoption.
Who knows? Not us, apparently not the writer either because they don’t care to give us a reason.
In conclusion, stick to the ’96 Craft, but if you have to watch the…’sequel’ then have the original on hand to cleanse the soul.
GONGPO REVIEW 